Fight When It Matters

fight when it matters

Fight. For your values. For your freedom. For love. To be right. To further your perspective. To gain understanding.

No matter what your goal or purpose is when you choose to fight, it is always fueled by passion. And it is occasionally tainted by pride.

I have an opinion on every topic. We all do. But it depends on my passionate commitment to that particular topic as to whether I will enter the ring.

Does the issue really matter?

Do I stand to gain something by standing my ground?

Would an opportunity be lost or a relationship be in jeopardy if I choose to remain quiet?

These are the questions that ran through my mind last night when discussing my husband’s relationship with his son.

Yes. The issue mattered.

No. I didn’t stand to gain anything. Well, maybe I did actually. A more harmonious family is a pretty good benefit I suppose! But at the time, I believed that I was being selfless. Funny how a good night’s sleep can shed light on true motives.

Yes. I think a relationship may severely suffer if I remain quiet.

A fight. A conflict. A discussion. Call it what you want. Last night it was two people, deeply committed to one another, trying to be heard. And wanting to be right.

In the light of day, the need to be right is eclipsed by the need to be loved and understood.

Conflict plays a positive role in any relationship. It is important. It surfaces issues and puts things out on the table that may otherwise fester and grow into unmanageable issues.

But it can be harmful too. It can cause hurt feelings. It can escalate pride. It can do more damage than good if we let it.

Fight when it matters. But never lose sight of your opponent’s perspective or their need to be acknowledged and valued. When it is a meaningful relationship in your life, be less of an opponent and more of a teammate. Ultimately you are on the same team!

Above all, be kind with your words and remember that at the heart of the issue, is someone’s beautiful, passionate heart.

20140104-133802.jpgThis post is my response to brilliant blogger, Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday prompt, fight. Join us in linking up to this wonderful writing community!

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8 thoughts on “Fight When It Matters

  1. mghollis38 January 4, 2014 at 2:20 pm Reply

    Thanks for visiting my blog. I’m still trying to learn that balance of knowing when does it matter and when does it not. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

    • trisbendickson January 4, 2014 at 2:25 pm Reply

      Such a challenging balance, for sure! Blessed by your visit today 🙂

  2. Anne January 5, 2014 at 5:43 am Reply

    Love your words here. I had a similar conflict a week ago where I was at the end of thinking my words would ever get through. Then, a letter and a breakthrough talk. Conflict is so hard but so necessary. Your reflections hold so much truth!

    • trisbendickson January 5, 2014 at 8:36 am Reply

      Thank you for reminding me that there is always hope for progress 🙂 Happy New Year sweet friend!

  3. Ashley Ditto January 5, 2014 at 6:41 am Reply

    Beautiful writing, love it here.

  4. apricot January 5, 2014 at 5:27 pm Reply

    Greetings from Five Minute Friday 🙂
    While reading your writing, I could see myself in the ring, trying to figure out how to engage my opponent in the fight but curiously my opponent’s well being mattered to me.
    It really gave me the feeling that this is a personal fight with outcomes that would affect a greater audience, a family, friends etc.
    Thanks for the inspiring writing. In a matter of a few sentences, I found myself asking how I fight my battles and if I manage to keep the delicate balance with those around me intact.

    • trisbendickson January 5, 2014 at 5:31 pm Reply

      Thank you for your kind words and encouragement 🙂 We all have those fights from time to time, and the goal of that balance is important, but challenging. So glad you stopped by!

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