31 Days of Soul Searching – Day 13 {Security}

Day 13

A comfortable home, relationships I can count on, a great job that pays the bills, and the consistency of knowing what to expect… all things I long for in life.

{Security} is our topic for today’s soul searching.

The blessings of consistency are apparent to me anytime I think of branching out. I consider what it is that I have to lose and what it is that I have to gain by broadening my horizons. It is hard for me. I like routine.

Volatility and vulnerability are things that I really don’t do very well with. Thus my quest for all things secure. I want to be able to rely on things turning out exactly as I would expect them to. Security.

Perhaps my need for security comes from my childhood. I often did not know quite what to expect in situations. And that fear of the unknown, mostly because things turned out unexpectedly bad instead of unexpectedly good, causes my need for security to increase.

So what is the risk of living by security and status quo?

Well, nothing new can be welcomed into my life when I am not willing to risk my security.

What exactly am I afraid of?

Anything. Everything. 

I am highlighting security today because it has become obvious to me that I have a serious desire to battle against this unfounded need. Sure, we all want a secure life. But why is it that the need for security can so badly stunt our growth?

When life’s circumstances begin to challenge me, my security striving goes into overdrive. I cocoon into everything familiar. Home is my refuge and, while there is nothing exactly wrong with that, it causes me to only find comfort in the familiar.

I need to branch out a little bit! One small step at a time here, but I am committed to taking that little step out of the safety of my cocoon.

What if… and this is big for me… but what if I actually reached out and shared what was challenging me with a dear friend or family member? Would my security crumble?

No. Obviously not.

So this fear of the unknown that causes me to cling to every fiber of security I have in my life is unfounded? Crap. Now what?

Rational needs for security do exist. We all want a comfortable life that we can predict and work well within the framework we have created. And there is nothing wrong with that.

It is the moments where my need for security takes center stage over everything else. Those are the times that I need to be aware of. And in those moments, I will work to change my mindset and replace the normal inner chatter that says “stay in your comfy bed all day watching Lifetime movies and nothing can harm you” to something more like “in this moment I can take a risk and reach out and everything will be okay”.

Oh, I am such a work in progress. But with each bit of work will most surely come progress. I am pushing my boundaries. I am branching out. I am challenging my need for security.

How does your need for security impact your life?

What kind of life challenges bring about your need for security?

How do you typically choose to handle that?

If you handle your needs for security differently, would you benefit in the long run?

Examining how we handle challenges in our lives is quite a process! Thank you for joining me for this journey. It is always better to travel with friends, and I appreciate your willingness to examine your own life right along with me. 

I am nearing our halfway mark and want to be sure that we are discussing things that impact your life. If you have any suggestions or feedback, I welcome it! Just leave a note in the comments section below.


*This is the 13th post in a 31 day series on Soul Searching. To follow the series from the beginning, simply click here and you will be directed to the introductory post which contains links to each day’s topic.


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