Someone in your life says or does something that just rubs you the wrong way but you decide to say nothing. It festers. You mull it around in your head a little more and it gets bigger and bigger in your brain. It festers. You think of the person that said it and you are so angry you cannot even think of one thing you like about them because how they treated you eclipses their good qualities. It festers. The situation completely infects your mind and you begin to believe that there is no way to get out of this horrible situation you’ve found yourself in. It festers.
If any of that sounds familiar to you, you may hate conflict as much as I do! I always think to myself, “I will get over it” or “they probably didn’t mean any harm” or “they were probably having a bad day” or (and this one is my favorite) “maybe I deserved that”. All of a sudden the strong and positive woman I am gets overshadowed by the victim of this festering wound to my heart.
How do people “fester-proof” their lives? Their relationships? Their hearts?
No really… HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT???!!!
So far, I have not been very successful in my efforts, but I do have a few tips for how to begin treatment of that festering boo boo.
1. Muster up the courage to address it. (yep, that is the 1st step)
2. Decide if this is a deal breaker in your relationship and what you may need to hear to successfully move on.
3. Talk through your needs and what the other person is willing to do or give or acknowledge in the situation to remedy it.
4. Be aware that you cannot evoke an apology or any kind of change in another person, so you will need to be okay with whatever response they give you.
5. Express to that person that you value them in your life and that is why it struck such a nerve and caused you pain.
6. Breathe and relish in the reality that IT WAS NOT AS BAD AS YOU MADE IT IN YOUR MIND!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!